I have been debating whether or not to post this for a while now. Obviously if you are reading this, I have decided to post it. This is me being incredibly vulnerable. To be honest, this blog is me being incredibly vulnerable but I am doing this because I am tired of being scared of what everyone thinks of me. Being vulnerable, open, honest, and 100% me is the only way I will be able to love the real, authentic me. This is a letter to my body where I apologize and just express the regret of everything that I did to my body and that my body went through. So, here it goes.
My Journal: Dear Body 04/01/2016
You have been broken down and beaten up but still fought on. You have been deprived and neglected but still continued. When I think about you and how I battled you for so long and played my little trick, I feel sad and I feel as if I have betrayed you, I know I have betrayed you. You have given me so many memories and so many second chances. You held on tight when it was easiest to let go. You put my two legs on the floor and pushed me off the warm bed in France and carried me to school everyday as you shivered to keep you warm. I haven’t thanked you or at least given you the thanks you deserve. Thank you, body, for protecting me when I didn’t know how to protect myself. Thank you for allowing me to run, jump, laugh, and discover. Thank you for keeping me strong enough to make it back to America. My dear body, I have been so consumed with hating you that I have never told you how much I love you. I love you because you are the strongest body I have ever met. Because you have carried me from the mountains to the ocean (literally). Because you stuck with me and always stuck it out with me. I love you because you have taken the most hits from me but still continued on. No matter how many times I broke you down, you still built me back up. Dearest body, I am so proud of you. You are so wise and you knew what was best for me even when I didn’t. You took a storm of hate, pain, and neglect, yet still persevered.
Dearest body, I am learning to love you because you are MINE and that needs to be good enough for me.