To The Bone: Punny, Painful, Pure

Last night I had the most amazing opportunity (thanks to the incredible Claire Dundee – much love to you!) As some of you may remember, my last blog post was centered around a new movie coming out called To The Bone. I approached the topic and discussion in a position of opposition to the many articles that had been published claiming that this film glorified eating disorders. Based solely on the trailer, I saw this film as not a work in praising eating disorders, but rather starting a conversation about them (which is what we want and NEED!) On Monday night I had the opportunity to go to a preview screening of the movie at USC School of Cinematic Arts and then have a Q & A with director (Marti Noxon) and lead actress (Lily Collins) afterwards. Now to give you some perspective, I do NOT cry during movies. I was a stone rock during The Notebook, I remembered The Lion King for the way it made me dance and laugh, The Last Song left me remembering how cute sea turtles are, and UP did not bring out a drop of tears in me. This movie how ever, had me sobbing, I’m talking ugly crying, loud heaving, mascara-running-down-the-face-snot-coming-out-of-the-nose type crying. (Apologies to Haley for probably getting copious amounts of mascara and tear duct boogers on your shirt). It was everything I had imagined, wanted, need, and supported in my previous blog post. This movie did not glorify eating disorders in any way. I can see and completely understand how it can be triggering for people that are still in treatment or have recently recovered (note: there is diet talk, calories mentioned in number, talk about sizes) but this is all used to display the life that people with eating disorders are living. It shows the pain of the disorder and then couples it with beauty of recovery. After the movie was over and we began the Q & A, I was one of the (3!) people picked to ask a question. I was so flustered I honestly could not tell you what I even asked. I probably rambled on for a few minutes throwing I a couple (hundred) words that did not belong in the sentences I stringed together. BUT, with all that, Marti and Lily both understood my question and gave a beautifully poised answer that filled me joy and fullness (you can be filled with fullness, can’t you? – eh, challenging perfectionism!!!) I got the amazing opportunity to talk with Marti afterwards (who let me just say is an incredibly talented, gifted, and beautiful woman and visionary) about my recovery and blog and thank her for this movie. Even though I was in treatment just a year ago, I do wish I had something like this film, just to know that I was not alone and that this is not a silent disorder. Eating disorders kill its victim slowly. It slowly sucks the life out of you until you are a silent ghost flooded with lies, false goals, and self-hate. This film’s main aim was to not start, but rather continue the conversation about eating disorders. This film may not be for everyone but it is up to YOU whether or not you watch this film. No one is going to force it on you nor should they persecute you for your decision to or to not see it. For me, it was therapeutic, moving, emotional, powerful, and just incredible. For others it might not be – BUT the beauty of this world is that everyone is different and you really only need to stay in tune with who you and what you need as a human being, not what others will say. I hope that you all (if you choose to J ) will get the opportunity to watch this film and please let me know what you think of it! (It was made by people who have been there and get it – so essentially with good and pure intentions). More to come soon!

Dedicated to Marti Noxon and the men and women that are working to talk about it

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